WARWICK — It’s questionable whether Jesus would have a social media presence if he were alive today. If so, what would he post?
Attorney Brian J. Lamoureux, a national authority on social media and the law, as well as a parishioner at Immaculate Conception Church in Cranston, believes Jesus would likely post “truthful, helpful, and kind” messages.
“He wouldn’t be posting things much different from what Pope Francis posts,” said Lamoureux, noting that the pope composes his own tweets for Twitter before his staff shares them online.
Yet, some people, including children and teens, are posting information that has the potential to be harmful, not only to themselves, but to their peers.
“Students need to see that all the principles they are learning need to be applied at home, on the school yard, and online,” Lamoureux said to a Rhode Island Catholic reporter following “What Would Jesus Post?” a discussion about Internet safety he recently held at St. Peter School. “You can’t turn off your Catholic identity just because you’re online. Everything should be filtered through that lens.”
Lamoureux, a partner at Pannone Lopes Devereaux & West LLC, also teaches business law at Providence College, along with a course he recently designed about digital and social media. At St. Peter, he provided parents and educators with a presentation about the damaging consequences of cyberbullying and “sexting,” as well as a review of social media apps and sites children are using, often without their parents’ knowledge. He explained how parents may be held responsible for what their children post online, plus offered tips and cautionary questions adults should be asking.
Cyberbullying is the act of using computers or other technological devices to tease, exclude, intimidate, threaten and harass another person, while “sexting” involves sending sexually oriented text messages.
“You see headlines about kids being victimized by social media, and it’s caught on camera or video and spread by text,” he told an assembly of nearly 20 parents and a few educators. “If it’s caught through pictures or video, who knows when he’ll see it again? It’s not necessarily the incident itself, but the concept of, ‘I’ll never be able to scrub the stain.’”
The “permanency of posts” is costing some people money, as well as their reputations. “Sexting” often leads to legal ramifications, said Lamoureux.
Another example includes a 13-year-old who cyberbullied a classmate on Facebook. The victim’s parents sued the bully’s parents, claiming that they were liable due to access and negligence, as they provided the Internet service, as well as failed to supervise their child.
“Children are making mistakes that are irreversible,” he said. “Do they know that posting their photo online could haunt them for the rest of their lives?”
Others are losing their lives, as there have been reports of children and teens committing suicide after experiencing technological torment. However, children and teens who aren’t involved with cyberbullying and “sexting” also need to be mindful of their social media use.
According to Lamoureux, teens have an average of 300 online friends, which he said results in shallow, non-face-to-face communication, and adds to adolescent proclivity for impulsivity. It also may be harming their self-esteem. A 2013 study reported that 58 percent of plastic surgeons saw an increase of facial surgeries or cosmetic injectable fillers.
“The theory is, ‘I’m not as pretty as all these people I see online,’” he said. “Children are getting this skewed view of what reality is because people aren’t posting the bad stuff.”
So, what’s the solution? While banning children and teens from using social media accounts such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest, as well as others like Snapchat, Vine, Kik, Ask.fm, Tumblr and Yik Yak might seem like a positive alternative, Lamoureux said it’s counterproductive.
“The bigger mistake is keeping it from them,” he said. “You’re going to romanticize it and make it worse.”
Instead, Lamoureux suggested that parents talk to their kids about social media. Asking the right questions is important.
Key questions, he said, should include the following: “What is the app? Who are you doing it with? When are you using it? How are you using it? Why are you using it?”
“If they want to download something, have your child articulate what it does,” Lamoureux said. “Don’t say, ‘I checked this app out. Here’s why you’re not going to be able to use it.’ Kids are smart enough to know that if they can’t explain why they want something, it’s probably not a good idea and they are going to be less defensive.”
He also advised parents to make sure their children use a simple acronym inspired by Tristan Gorrindo, a board-certified child and adolescent psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, which will help them maintain an appropriate online identity. They need to ask themselves, “Would I say this to my principal? Am I feeling safe and loved right now? Would I want this said about me? Will I still do this if I wait until tomorrow?”
Lamoureux went on to say that the best way for parents to be more aware about certain apps is by downloading them on their own phones and computers. This will not only make them better informed, they’ll also be more familiar with sounds that will indicate which apps their kids are using.
Privacy settings, he said, are also important, as they restrict strangers from seeing certain information. Also, some parents chose to turn off the Wi-Fi in their homes after a certain time at night, or restrict phone and Internet use in their children’s rooms.
While he said experts have struggled with putting an age limit on social media use, he thinks 13 is a suitable age. He feels a good way to introduce technological communication is allowing children to text with friends.
But, what’s Lamoureux’s most crucial recommendation?
“Walk the walk,” he said. “Children are watching us all the time. If we’re constantly on phone at dinner or during a movie, what model does that send to them?”
Several parents said they plan to heed Lamoureux’s advice. While Beth Mainville and Kerry Stamatakos agreed that the presentation was “very informative,” Mary Bonney, noted that though her children are yet to use social media, she knows they will soon be online.
“It’s an incredibly important issue,” said Bonney. “There’s a lot of information out there to keep up with and it’s constantly changing.”
Principal Joan Sickinger feels the same. She said school staffers intervene in cyberbullying cases, pointing out that a stern warning generally stops the issue.
“All parents need to know what’s going on in the technological world,” she said, adding that she invited Lamoureux to return to the school to address the student body.
For Lamoureux, the parent of a Catholic school student, talking with the kids will be a treat. He enjoys helping children and teens, as well as their parents, stay informed.
“Volunteering my time is a pleasure,” he said. “They need early intervention.”
