Answers were compiled with help from Deacon Stephen Cote, coordinator of the Office of Marriage Preparation; Father Bernard A. Healey, pastor, St. Ambrose Parish, Albion; and the book “The 101 Most-Asked Questions” by Father Paul Turner.
1. Can we get married in a parish that’s not my own?
Yes, you can with permission of your own pastor. However, your home parish is preferable.
2. What about in a church of another denomination?
Two Catholics are required to get married in a Catholic Church. However, if a Catholic is to marry a non-Catholic, dispensations can be granted for a marriage at another church.
3. Can we be married by a priest other than my home parish’s pastor?
Yes, but your home pastor must grant permission.
4. Could the ceremony be on a beach, in a garden, in my backyard or some other outdoor space?
No, since marriage is a sacrament of the church, it should be celebrated in a sacred space.
5. Can I marry someone of another religion?
Yes, you must obtain permission from the bishop and promise to raise your children as Catholics. The wedding ceremony between a Catholic and non-Catholic does not usually include a Mass.
6. Can we be married if one of us is not confirmed?
Possibly, it’s up to the discretion of the priest performing the marriage. You will likely be asked to complete the sacraments of baptism, reconciliation, first Communion and confirmation, possibly in an RCIA setting, before being married.
7. I've been married before and am now divorced. Can my fiancé and I be married in the church? A divorced Catholic must receive an annulment for the previous marriage from the Diocesan Marriage Tribunal office before being allowed to remarry in the church. No wedding dates are allowed to be booked prior to the declaration of annulment of a previous marriage by the Tribunal. The marriage tribunal can be contacted at 278-4664 for more information.
8. Can the marriage take place on a Sunday or during Lent?
Yes, although not on Good Friday or Holy Saturday. Weddings during the season of Lent are not encouraged because it is a penitential season. However, the final decision is up to the discretion of your parish priest.
9. Do I have to go to marriage preparation classes?
Yes, according to canonical law couples must receive marriage preparation instruction prior to being married in the church. The Diocese offers a program throughout the year.
10. Can we be married right away?
Not likely, most parish priests require from several months up to a year before a couple may be married. Also, the Office of Marriage Preparation recommends attending a class a few months before the wedding and advises that classes fill up quickly so couples should register at least six weeks before they plan to attend.
11. What if I'm not a member of any specific parish? It is up to the discretion of the parish priest where you intend to be married, but most will give preference of dates and times to current, active members so they advise that couples register with a parish right away to become established.
12. Can I select non-traditional music for my wedding?
The music of the wedding should assist the assembled believers to express and share the gift of faith. Since marriage is a sacrament, sacred music must be used at Catholic weddings. Pop-songs, Broadway show tunes and other non-sacred music are generally not allowed. Non-traditional music is best left to be played at the wedding reception.
13. Does everyone in my wedding party need to be Catholic in order to participate?
The church prefers both Best Man and Maid of Honor to be Catholic, but no longer requires that one or both of them Catholic.
14. Does the wedding have to include an entire Mass?
No, not always.
15 Can we write our own vows?
Absolutely not. Their are versions of vows approved by the church and they must be used.
16. What if we are living together now?
The Office for Marriage Preparation and the priest performing the wedding will likely recommend that couple end the arrangement as soon as possible until after the wedding.
17. What if we have already been married in a civil ceremony?
That is considered a non-sacramental marriage and not recognized by the church. Non-sacramental marriages can be blessed by a priest and therefore officially recognized.
18. My fiancé and I do not live near each other, what should we do about marriage preparation classes?
Contact the marriage preparation office, they handle special circumstances on a case by case basis, but your long distance relationship is by no means going to stop you from being allowed to marry in the church.
19. If we are married on a Saturday does it count for Sunday Mass?
It depends on what time the wedding mass takes place on Saturday. Also couples should note that if it is to fulfill the Sunday Mass obligation, the prayers and readings for that Sunday must be used.
20. Can we choose readings that are not from the Bible?
No, readings can only be taken from sacred Scripture.
21. Do our Scripture readers have to be Catholic?
Yes, anyone who performs a public ministry in the church should be a Catholic in good standing.
22. Why is a wedding rehearsal so important?
The rehearsal is a chance for everyone involved in the ceremony to prepare and to understand their specific roles. The priest will help the couple and the wedding party rehearse things like the processions in and out of the church, which can be difficult to coordinate. Also, readers may practice their readings to get a feel for the microphones and to go over pronunciations.
23. Is there paperwork to fill out before the wedding?
Yes. Catholics being married will be interviewed by the priest and a pre-nuptial investigation will be completed. Couples must supply a newly issued copy of their sacramental records. Also, if there are any annulments, divorces, or deceased spouses the proper decrees must be presented. Your parish priest should also help you fill out a form detailing where you live, your intentions to have children....
24. Is there a fee to be married in the church?
Although religion is a spiritual experience, places of worship are institutions which require financial support. Therefore, fees or offerings may be suggested, or requested, for the use of church facilities for a wedding. If such a request poses a problem for the parishioner, the church may adjust the fees accordingly. The diocese has a set policy on the range of fees that a parish may charge.
The bride and groom are expected to present gifts to altar servers. Fees for the organist and soloist are the responsibility of the couple. The priest does not receive any part of the fee as it is designated for the church. Therefore, it is customary for couples to provide the priest a separate gift for his participation in their wedding.
