To the Editor:
This letter is in response to the [letter] entitled "Priest's View on Marital Sex Outdated, Impoverished" by Tony Lopresti (RI Catholic 9/25/08) in which Mr. Lopresti criticized a previous commentary by Father Ray Suriani entitled “From Contraception to 'Gay-Marriage'?” (RI Catholic 09/18/08).
Let me begin by saying that I could not understand Mr. Lopresti's vehement reaction to Father Ray's reflections, which in my opinion were very objectively and logically written. Furthermore, when Father Ray made statements about the meaning of the marriage act, he supported his statements by references to the Roman Catholic Church's teaching documents on the subject such as Gaudium et Spes from the Second Vatican Council and the Encyclical Letter of Pope Paul VI Humanae Vitae.
Mr Lopresti's statement, “in his quest to condemn those who support contraception and same-sex marriage, Fr Suriani insults couples who practice Natural Family Planning (NFP) as well as older, sexually active couples who are beyond the childbearing years,” attempts to undermine the important point being made by Father Ray that contraception and same-sex marriage are intrinsic moral evils. My reasons for saying this is that in the minds of most Americans, contraception and same-sex marriage are not intrinsic evils but modern day issues that should be accepted and condoned. In my opinion, this is an attempt to portray Father Ray in a negative light. My question to you, Mr. Lopresti, is don't you want to be known as one who has a 'quest to condemn' these evils as that is what the Church does as well? In addition, if this is insulting to people who practice NFP and to older couples, then Christ, Himself, is also insulting them since His Church is doing the same thing.
That the marital act may have many subjective meanings that vary from person to person (mutual affirmation, relief of distress, reconciliation, healing) it also has two objective meanings that is true no matter what people think. Those are the Unitive (Marital Love) and Procreative meanings. That Mr. Lopresti finds Father Ray's restatement of the Church's teaching, that the procreative meaning is essential to the marriage act, “insults couples practicing Natural Family Planning” is baffling. Isn't the very reason why NFP is morally acceptable that it does not act against this “procreative” meaning of the marriage act? The couple practicing NFP, explicitly or implicitly, understands that the marriage act is ordained by God for procreation. That is why they never do anything before, during, or after any particular marital act that would make impossible the actualization of a pregnancy, because they understand and willingly accept that God makes the final choice whether to create a new human soul or not.
The NFP couple also knows the biological laws established in their bodies by God whereby He only actualizes a pregnancy at only certain times in a woman's fertility cycle. Therefore, by the will of God (by His design of our bodies) each and every marital act does not always result in the actualization of a pregnancy. The couple practicing NFP may make use of this infertile time to foster and express their marital love if they could foresee plausible reasons such as psychological, social, or economic difficulties, that would result if they were to take on the responsibility of the good of having another child at the current time.
Mr. Lopresti also stated that “Marital lovemaking, with or without a procreative intent, can be a profound occasion of Grace”, which he should clarify by stating “with or without an explicit procreative intent” as an implicit procreative intent must be present as the couple’s wills must conform to God's will, which may be to choose to actualize a pregnancy in any particular marital act. The meaning of procreation is that God, the husband and the wife are working together to bring new life into the world, not just the couple; and God always holds the trump card.
I would encourage Mr Lopresti to contact Father Ray so that he can clarify for himself what Father Ray was saying in his article. It would have been an appropriate thing to do first, before writing the derogatory article that he wrote, which insinuates that Father Ray has a “quest against contraception and same-sex marriage” that seems to have blurred his grasp of the truth about the meaning of the marital act.
I'd also like to make known that I am a parishioner at Saint Pius X Parish in Westerly as well as an NFP Teacher. My wife, Lora, and I became certified to teach through the Couple to Couple League in 2001. We have known Father Ray for the 19 years he has been at Saint Pius X, so I think we have a good idea of the character of his priesthood. All we can say is that he is an intelligent, energetic, tough, loving, caring, and kind priest/pastor who is willing to take the abuse he does to ensure that his parishioners have the truth of the Roman Catholic Faith imparted to them. He constantly refers to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and other official church teaching documents whenever he preaches so that we're getting the full faith of the Church and not simply his opinion about things. As far as NFP goes, I don't know of any parish priest who understands it better and promotes it more than he does. Ask any of the three NFP couples in the Westerly area and they'll tell you the same.
Peter Brodeur
Westerly
