Getting children to pay better attention and to enjoy the sacredness of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is difficult but not an impossible feat. There are certain things that my husband and I do to help them (and us) stay more focused and enjoy Mass.
Sitting as close to the altar as possible
While it may seem like a paradox, sitting closer to the altar, as in the first few pews, is a game-changer for our older children and even for ourselves. When we sit further back, and we often still do, our children are often distracted by other parishioners and families, especially those with children. They have a hard time focusing on the Mass, can’t see what is happening at the altar and struggle with following along. Sitting as close as possible was first suggested to us by one of our priests and when we can, it does bear much fruit.
With little to no other families in front of us, there is very little to focus on other than what is happening at the altar. There are fewer distractions and the only viewpoint that we have is the Mass. If I were at the original Calvary, and I technically am as the Mass is the unbloody sacrifice of Our Lord on the Cross, I would want to be as close to Jesus as possible. Of course, we are not always able to sit right up front or closer to the altar, but when we are able to, it is wonderful.
Mass books for children
There are many wonderful books for children to follow during Mass that are age-appropriate and have even educated my husband and me on aspects of the Mass that we hadn’t known before. Each child has a book that they read or follow along with. Also in our Mass bag is a handful of other books, Catholic flash cards held together by a keyring and a couple of soft toys for the younger children.
It can be hard for children to grasp the magnitude of the Mass since we can’t see the miracle that is being performed at the altar. They know that Our Lord is hidden under the appearance of bread and wine and that it is truly His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity that we receive if we are worthy to do so. That is why the books have been so helpful with showing them what is happening at the altar and how blessed we are to be present at Mass.
Discussions with our children
Before Mass, we make it a point to talk about our expectations with them about staying quiet, being reverent and trying to follow along as best as possible so that they can truly have “prayed the Mass.”
We also sympathize with them, as it can be hard for children of all ages to be still for the Mass, especially when, again, the miracles happening at the altar are not visible to our human eyes. That is why we also talk with them about the fact that there is a multitude of angels and saints that are present at each Mass. Even though we can’t see them, they are there and we should try to emulate them and worship our God as He deserves. We explain to them that being Catholic and the ability to attend Mass are the greatest gifts and privileges that we will ever receive.
Getting to Mass early and staying a bit afterwards is also important to show that Mass is sacred and we don’t ever want to “get it over with.” While we don’t “press our luck” with them and stay for a long time, we do try to spend a few quiet moments in prayer after Mass and in thanksgiving to God for allowing us the time to be in His presence.
It Gets Better with Time
Reverence, the ability to stay still and follow along, increases and gets better with age.
However, our children (the toddler excluded) do relatively well with the previous tips that we have discovered over the decade that we’ve been blessed to be parents.
Speaking of the toddler, one tip is to try not to remove them from the pew and bring them to the back of the church unless they are disrupting the other parishioners or are about to become disruptive. Our beloved former priest, who has now passed away, advised us that, sometimes, children feel as if they are rewarded by getting out of the pew and to the back of the church during Mass and could make a habit out of it.
Don’t give up going to Mass with children. It does get better as time goes on. Always remember what Jesus said: “Let the little children alone, and do not stop them from coming to me; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of Heaven belongs.” (Matthew 19:14)
Christina Frye is a lifelong Rhode Islander, wife, mother and founder of Catholic Mom Rhode Island, www.CatholicMomRI.com.
