PROVIDENCE — Noted writer and lecturer Rabbi Baruch Goldstein spoke April 14 at Providence College to a full room of students, faculty, and visitors who listened intensely to his personal accounts of the Holocaust and his struggles with faith.
"I would rather be talking about joyful things," said Rabbi Goldstein. "I bring a story of sadness. For many years I was silent. I didn’t want to talk about Auschwitz. It is my obligation."
The oldest of three children, Goldstein was born in Mlawa, East Prussia and was the only person in his immediate family to survive the horrors of the Holocaust.
The rabbi is a former Hebrew teacher at Congregation Beth Israel in Worcester, Mass and now travels to speak on his experiences at the Nazi death camps. He is also the author of “For Decades I Was Silent: A Holocaust Survivor's Journey Back to Faith” (University of Alabama Press, 2008).
In the summer of 1939, then 16-year old Goldstein returned home from school in Warsaw to visit family. On Sept. 1, his mother woke him up saying the war had started.
His town was being bombed and eventually Goldstein, his mother, and brother had to part from the rest of the family and move into a Jewish ghetto. The rabbi recalled that this was the last time he saw his father and sister.
"When I left them, I left them in tears," he said softly. "I never saw them again. I don't even know how they died."
Their family struggled, but he and his brother worked enough to keep the family going on bread, oil and water.
"We hoped we would be a family again,” said Rabbi Goldstein. “We knew that wars have a beginning and wars have an end."
The Hebrew scholar noted that during this time, Jews had no rights and could be rounded up for free labor during the day or at night. He explained one incident that occurred while he was working, cleaning up debris from a building that the Germans had destroyed.
"An officer started slapping me around and was yelling at me in German," he said. "Later I found out it was because of the way I was placing the bricks.?When I came home I burst into tears. Anyone raising a hand to someone else was unbelievable to me."
But the violence worsened.
The Germans ordered the leaders of the ghetto to arrange 50 young people to dig a ditch and another 50 to stand by with their hands tied behind their backs.
"Soldiers came in and said that we must remain silent and hold our emotion or the other 50 will die," he said. "We stood there in silence. Our blood was frozen and our minds were still. There were weeks and months of mourning and that was not the end."
In November, Goldstein's mother was sent by train to Treblinka, a camp where carbon monoxide was used to eliminate Jews.
"I said goodbye to her on November 9," he said. "My mother was wise, kind and couldn't hurt anybody. Treblinka was known for its gas chambers and that meant that there were 2,000 living, breathing, dreaming people on that train gasping for air — because of hate and because of racism.
Rabbi Goldstein and his brother were taken to Auschwitz, where he was imprisoned for nearly 3 years. His brother died in a gas chamber, and for the first time, the future religious leader was alone.
Kaitlyn McCoy, a junior at Providence College, stated that the Rabbi's experience was very powerful.
"You can tell by the way he was telling his story that it is still so real in his life," said McCoy. "He lives with it every day."
During the presentation, Rabbi Goldstein revealed to the guests the number 76303 tattooed on his forearm.
Erin Lamontagne, a junior at Providence College, explained that it was poignant how he brought the Holocaust to an individual level.
"He told us not to think of it as six million Jews," said Lamontagne. "Think of it as six million individuals."
Goldstein explained that by April 1945 the war was lost, and the German army was shrinking continuously, but the Nazis still held on to prisoners until the last moment. Goldstein was getting weaker by the day. He wanted to hold on to life with the last bit of his strength, but lost consciousness. On May 8 he awoke, but did not experience the joy of liberation.
Goldstein told the audience that his life has been a difficult journey of faith and his beliefs were challenged. He could not accept that there could be a kind or caring?God.
"For three years I lived with that indifference to faith,” said Goldstein. "I could not be the faithful person I once was.”
The Rabbi mentioned that it was his wife, Reva Goldstein, who helped him to rebuild his faith and to pursue religious education.
"My wife is the one who gave me that courage," said Goldstein. "?If I had not regained my faith I would have been a lost soul. If that can happen to me then there is a God."
Dr. Arthur Urbano, an assistant professor of theology at Providence College, was also inspired by the rabbi’s lecture.
“It is important for the students to hear and to be aware of the atrocity that happened so long ago,” Urbano said.
Goldstein believes that every human being has a choice between good or evil and that often those choices can be a struggle.
“Yes, you cannot control what is happening in the Middle East, Afghanistan, or Iraq but you can help create a better society to eliminate the evil that comes from hate,” said Rabbi Goldstein. “It is just as easy to love as it is to hate.”
