LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Priest’s view on marital sex outdated, impoverished

Posted

To the Editor:

I couldn’t stop shaking my head in astonishment as I was reading Fr. Ray Suriani’s commentary “From contraception to ‘gay marriage’” (Sept., 18, 2008). That such an impoverished understanding of marital sexuality could be expounded by a priest at this stage of our church’s history is disappointing to say the least.

Fr. Suriani apparently believes that once a married couple no longer has a procreative intent in their love-making, what remains is “sex for pleasure and pleasure alone.”

From both a human and a Catholic standpoint, this kind of thinking is seriously deficient. Spouses who are mature in their sexual love know that sharing their bodies intimately conveys a multitude of meanings, from mutual affirmation, to relief of distress, to reconciliation and even healing.

Marital lovemaking, with or without a procreative intent, can be a profound occasion of grace which, at its best, leaves the lovers feeling more energized, generous, self-giving and loving; in short, more in touch with the God who has chosen to be incarnate in human life.

In his quest to condemn those who support contraception and same-sex marriage, Fr. Suriani insults couples who practice Natural Family Planning as well as older, sexually active couples who are beyond the childbearing years.

Marital sex can not be reduced to a simplistic dichotomy of procreation or pleasure.

As Pope Paul VI reminded us in Humanae Vitae, there is a unitive significance of the marriage act, and while shared pleasure can be uniting, it is hardly the only way to affirm and strengthen the couple’s communion.

What is particularly distressing to me is that this short-circuited understanding of human sexuality and church teaching would remain even after four years of seminary formation.

Such thinking is apparently no hindrance to becoming a pastor or getting your thoughts published.

Where were the editors of the Rhode Island Catholic when this piece was submitted? It looks as though if you condemn those who disagree with the church on contraception or same-sex marriage, it doesn’t really matter how impoverished your vision of human sexuality is.

Catholics deserve better than this.

Much better.

Tony LoPresti

North Kingstown