PROVIDENCE — Laurie Collins was looking for greater understanding of the feelings she was experiencing following the loss of her four-year-old son Zachary, who succumbed to a terminal illness seven years ago.
So, she decided to sign up for a new bereavement program being offered by the diocese to help her in this regard.
The diocesan programs, held last fall at St. Timothy Church in Warwick and Our Lady of Good Help Church in Burrillville, gave Laurie and others like her a chance to listen to adults discuss the losses of loved ones.
“The benefit of this bereavement program is that people were considerate, and it leaves time for people to address their situations. It was great that it provided us handouts, and was structured,” said Collins, a parishioner of Sts. Rose and Clement Parish.
Peter Magnotta, a social worker with the diocesan Office of Life and Family Ministry, helps individuals cope with difficult losses. He worked with the office to develop the program after receiving several phone calls last spring from Catholics throughout Rhode Island who had lost loved ones, and did know where to turn for support.
What began as a seven-week session will be extended to eight weeks when the bereavement program is offered again this spring.
“Consolation, comfort and faith provides us to call on Jesus for grace. In the program we look at Jesus’ life and suffering and see the redemptive quality of suffering,” said Magnotta.
The program allowed Catholics such as Laurie Collins and Maureen Higgins to deal with grief and mourning through God’s love.
Higgins, who has led a parish-based bereavement committee at Our Lady of Good Help over the past two years, said the Our Lady of Sorrows program provides a venue of holiness for Catholics who have lost loved ones in the diocese.
“As a hospital chaplain at Rhode Island Hospital I deal with death. As a society we don’t support people, and a three-day bereavement from a job is not enough,” said Higgins, who lost her brother Jack five years ago.
She said Magnotta’s guidance has taught her to take the grieving process at a slow pace, and “to let the Holy Spirit guide us.”
Nancy Castro, whose husband Bernie passed away three years ago, said it was essential for her to attend a Catholic-based support group at Our Lady of Good Help.
“To come to the table with faith and speak to others is how the program strengthens faith and shows our loving God cares,” said Castro. Father Joseph Pescatello, pastor of Our Lady of Good Help, says at least a dozen parishioners belong to the parish’s bereavement committee. “People are hurting out there, carrying lots of pain and sometimes there is no way to release it,” said Father Pescatello. “People can now come in within the context of the faith community and share their grief in a given meaning after the time of the death, which the rest of society can’t provide for us.”
The bereavement program at St. Timothy in Warwick provided a new perspective for Collins. In addition to participating in the program, Collins, who lost her son Zachary to the terminal cancer neuroblastoma stage 4, said she visits children with terminal illnesses at Camp Sunshine in Casco, Maine on Memorial Day weekends each year.
Collins said she is not angry with God because of Zachary’s illness, as a gold pendant around her neck with a portrait of him shined in the sun before a statue of the Holy Mother outside Sts. Rose and Clement on Long Street in Warwick.
“I applaud the Lord for my son Zachary. He was a gift for four-and-a-half years. Zachary has started his celebration of life and he suffered here. He is now in the kingdom of God.”
Collins said she would be interested in volunteering in the next diocesan bereavement program, which is scheduled to begin on April 13 at Our Lady of Sorrows. Another session will be offered at SS. John and James.
Magnotta stresses all are welcome and people do not have to be Catholic or belong to another Christian denomination to seek healing from the program.
“It is absurd to look at a couple of manuals for ideas on grief, and not integrate the Catholic faith with the bereavement process,” said Magnotta.
Each session of the bereavement program opens and closes with the Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary.
Magnotta says the group meetings are confidential, and people are encouraged to share their fears, hopes and anger with others. “We approach grief and mourning from a sensitive standpoint, because we acknowledge all people grieve differently,” said Magnotta.
He said 20 to 25 people attended the bereavement groups at Our Lady of Good Help and St. Timothy last fall.
For more information, please contact Peter Magnotta at (401) 421-7833 ext. 117.
