A friendly reminder to take time to love thy neighbor

Love-Ability: Becoming Lovable by Caring for Yourself and Others, by Benedictine Father Julian Stead And Madeline Pecora Nugent, New City Press, 2007, 175 pp.

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PORTSMOUTH — Two local authors have written a new book about love of neighbor, a quality that they believe is missing in the lives of many people today who lack compassion and think of life as a game that they must win.

Benedictine Father Julian Stead of Portsmouth Abbey, and Madeline Pecora Nugent of Middletown, a respected author who is well-known for her work on behalf of the Confraternity of Penitents, wrote “Love-Ability” as a guide to help individuals of all ages, races and creeds to become more lovable, and therefore, more joyful in every aspect of their lives.

Father Stead said in an interview that the impetus for writing the book was that while there are countless books and essays that have been written about the love of God, there has been little written on the love of neighbor.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. “ (John 13:35), Father Stead reflected, noting that Jesus commands us not to be concerned with worldly preoccupations, but to be filled with love and compassion for others.

“Every human being is born loving,” the authors write in the book’s preface. “Unfortunately, some people have forgotten how to love because others have rejected, ridiculed or scorned their love through abuse, neglect or other evil tactics. The longer the evil continues, the more people forget how to love. Only others loving them can help them again learn how to love others. But it will be a long journey back.”

Throughout the book, the authors emphasize that love is a gift that must be offered freely and without restrictions.

“If you want to be loved, you have to love, “ the authors write. “Those who love others find that others love them.”

Father Stead and Nugent describe love as a process that begins with the “Divine Lover,” progresses with his grace, and ultimately has Him as its goal.

“It is, indeed, the stairway climbed, the vocation lived, the way followed to salvation, the relationship that blossoms, and the quality that divides good from evil,” they write.

The easy-to-read book offers a wealth of practical advice that may seem for some readers to be just a series of refresher courses in civility and manners, but are nonetheless valuable reminders needed by everyone caught up in the frantic pace of daily living.

In the chapter on thoughtfulness, the authors urge readers to show consideration for others and “to be tidy,” “think before you speak,” and to “remember special days. “Such simple gestures show love.” In the chapter titled “Putting Others First,” they recommend acquiring humility.

“If you want to put others first (a trait that will help you become more lovable), you must learn how to put yourself last, something everyone needs to practice....” they write. “Self-centered attitudes not only alienate people, but they also prevent union with God. God is love, and love directs itself to the other.”

“Madeline and I tried to make this a book that would appeal to anyone,” Father Stead said, adding that every religion teaches the Golden Rule, but with a different slant.

“The world is very competitive and overly stressed,” Nugent noted. “A lot of people fall into that trap.”

“People need to love their neighbor,” the priest and retired theology teacher said. “They should not see them as a threat.”

The book ends with a comprehensive study guide with suggested activities that can easily adapted for adult discussion groups and conformation classes. For more information, visit Love- Ability.com.

Book signings:

Oct 12, 1-3 p.m., Morning Star, Apple Valley Plaza, Smithfield

Oct. 13, 2 p.m., Barrington Books, 184 County Road, Barrington

“Love-Ability” can also be purchased online at the Confraternity

of Penitents Holy Angels Gift Shop at www. penitents.

org/giftshop.html., and at Tally’s Church Supplies and

Furnishings, 1150 Pontiac Ave., Cranston.